How to use the HAY cards to manage or resolve conflict

Conflict is neither good nor bad, it is just differing point of views. During the process of conflict management and resolution, we want to be tender to understand different perspectives and seek opportunity for collaboration/win-win. We also want to be willing and thoughtful to integrate polarities or consider the interconnection within the system.

Step 1: Look that the Life Situations Card. In which area or with whom are you encountering the conflict?

Look at the 17 Thought Awareness Cards and notice your thinking pattern.

• Step 2: Identify the card(s) that best describe(s) the thought(s) which you are currently having.

• Step 3: Identify the card(s) that best describe(s) the thought(s) which seem to be opposing or challenging yours and might be the trigger of the conflict.

• Step 11: Look at the back of the identified Feeling Card(s), answer 1-2 questions to explore the possibilities of having the desired feeling.

Look at the 6 Need Awareness Cards and notice your actions or state.

• Step 12: Identify the card that best describes what action(s) you desire to take and start facing/resolving the conflict.

• Step 13: Look at the respective Action Card(s) of the desired action(s) and answer 2-3 questions to set a commitment/first step forward.

Look at the 6 Need Awareness Cards and notice your actions or state.

• Step 4: Identify the card(s) that best describe(s) what are you doing in response to the conflict or how you are currently managing the conflict.

• Step 5: With the identified need(s), how will you describe the relationship between your need(s) and identified thought(s)?

• Step 6: If you can make a guess, what need(s) might be driving the opposing or challenging thought(s)?

Step 7: Look at the respective Thinking Cards(s) of the identified thought(s) and answer 2-3 questions to expand your perspective. (Try your best to make a guess even if the question is difficult. There is no right answer. Just be honest with yourself.)

Step 8: Look at the respective Action Card(s) of the unmet need(s) and answer 2-3 questions to explore possible actions to fulfil the unmet need(s), while considering the opposing needs and hold the intention of integration or collaboration.

Look at the 11 Emotion Awareness Cards and notice your body or state.

• Step 9: Identify the card that best describes how you desire to feel so that you are more ready to face/resolve the conflict.

• Step 10: Explore your emotions more clearly.

• Look at the respective Graph Card(s) of the identified feeling(s). Will your body be active or passive? Will the feeling be based on internal or external references?

• Look at the respective Feeling Cards of the identified feeling(s). Can you relate to any of the description better?